You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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