New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
