Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
