That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
