My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
