operation have a gay friend backfired
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
