i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
