What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
