I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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