Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
