I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
