so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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