make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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