I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
