for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
