office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
