last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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