so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
