found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
When are your genitals available?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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