with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
