what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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