He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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