I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
