I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
