he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
