oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I need to calm my uterus...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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