will power is for people who don't want to get laid
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
