She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
