You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yo dont text me then not text me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
