What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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