u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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