she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
