i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
this is an emotional support booty call
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
