Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She is in my trunk
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
