I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
