It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Do vagina's smell?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
