I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
