I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
