I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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