weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
