I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
