We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
