Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My liver just broke up with me...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
