I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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