Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
