Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize