You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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