She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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