you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
