And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
