So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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