What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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