I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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