We named our party play list daddy issues
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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