Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize