I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
