I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
