You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
