And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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