Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
