Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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