My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
