He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
